The glorious full CD copy of Secret Handshake comes beautifully packaged with exciting artwork, including a full 16 page booklet of containing illustrations for each track on the album. The enhanced CD itself comes with all of the music (obviously), plus pop it in your computer to get a full album commentary, bonus podcast, video extras, songbook, and more! And did we mention it's beautiful? An excellent addition to your collection, and a must have for music connoisseurs and cool dudes.
Includes unlimited streaming of Secret Handshake
via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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Streaming + Download
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
Hip Hop anthem about an old lady who, back in her prime, was a slammin' hottie.
lyrics
Marjorie, I get a funny feeling when you look at me,
Baby, I can’t see what’s going on.
Marjorie, why do you make me feel so tingly,
You might be 83 but why doesn’t it seem wrong?
‘Cause when I saw you at the Post Office late last week
I was standing behind you and you smelled so sweet
Like potpourri or lavender Glade Plug-In
There’s something about you girl, got me wondering
What is wrong with me I’m no Gerontophile
But when I see you looking back at me I’ve got to smile
The only conclusion that I’ve got
Is that you’re an old lady who used to be hot.
What secrets lie behind those eyes?
50 years ago you had your pick of all the guys.
Marjorie, I get a funny feeling when you look at me,
Baby, I can’t see what’s going on.
I’m going to go back in time and make you mine
Marjorie, why do you make me feel so tingly,
You might be 83 but why doesn’t it seem wrong?
Because I don’t know why that every time I see you
And my body says yes even though my mind says no
I just can’t stop myself from calling out Bingo!
It’s always a pleasure to witness
All the echoes of your former fitness
And surely it’s about what’s underneath
So I can look past your grey hair and false teeth
Your artificial hip and your dodgy knee
And I can see the smokin’ hottie that you used to be
I bet back in the day you used to stop men in their tracks
But now they’re only stopping to carry some of your shopping
Girl, I want to give you a bit of a stroke
But I can’t in case I literally give you a stroke
And let me get it straight I’m not weird or crazy
I wouldn’t look twice at most old ladies
There’s something that they’re lacking
But it’s something that you’ve got
‘Cause you’re an old lady who used to be hot
Marjorie, your beauty peaked too soon
Back when you where in your prime my Mum was in the womb
Marjorie, I get a funny feeling when you look at me,
Baby, I can’t see what’s going on.
I’m going to go back in time and make you mine
Marjorie, why do you make me feel so tingly,
You might be 83 but why doesn’t it seem wrong?
Well Marjorie, I think we could have been the perfect couple,
But when you were my age I was minus 59 and it just never would have worked out
Still, how about next Wednesday, I come ‘round yours, we’ll play a bit of Bridge, maybe watch Columbo and we’ll take it from there.
credits
from Secret Handshake,
released January 25, 2012
Vocals by Dan P (Rap), Rich Green (Chorus) and Charlie Mosesson (Bridge)
Guitar and piano by Rich Green
Bass, beats, scratches etc. by Dan P
Backing vocals by Emily Davis and Dan P
Beatboxing by the great Luke Ski
supported by 6 fans who also own “You're An Old Lady (Who Used To Be Hot)”
Awesome track! I also love the "tribute" at the end to that old D&D audio, genius!
This is going to be the opener for the next session for my group. Landstrider
supported by 5 fans who also own “You're An Old Lady (Who Used To Be Hot)”
Kyle has a gift for creating earworms—catchy tunes that you just cannot get out of your head until they've achieved their purpose. (Which is? That would be telling...) At the moment I'm particularly fond of "I Don't Know Why There's a Bug in Here," which I predict within five years will dominate campfires and school buses. Brother Osric
Robins decided to release the recording of his 2016 comedy tour during the Covid-19 shutdown at the behest of fans. Bandcamp New & Notable May 29, 2020
Comedian Chris Gethard’s hilarious new surprise album is devoted to the great state of New Jersey, and the great state of New Jersey alone. Bandcamp New & Notable Dec 18, 2019
supported by 5 fans who also own “You're An Old Lady (Who Used To Be Hot)”
Technically my favorite track is "You Don't Know Jack (Plan B)", because it's just a great reimagining (Some Jerk with a Camera is now officially a reimagineer).
But a lot of the album is good, and the "Luke Ski Phase 2" stuff is also good, but different. Erin A Cobb