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You're An Old Lady (Who Used To Be Hot)

from Secret Handshake by Flat 29

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about

Hip Hop anthem about an old lady who, back in her prime, was a slammin' hottie.

lyrics

Marjorie, I get a funny feeling when you look at me,
Baby, I can’t see what’s going on.
Marjorie, why do you make me feel so tingly,
You might be 83 but why doesn’t it seem wrong?

‘Cause when I saw you at the Post Office late last week
I was standing behind you and you smelled so sweet
Like potpourri or lavender Glade Plug-In
There’s something about you girl, got me wondering
What is wrong with me I’m no Gerontophile
But when I see you looking back at me I’ve got to smile
The only conclusion that I’ve got
Is that you’re an old lady who used to be hot.

What secrets lie behind those eyes?
50 years ago you had your pick of all the guys.

Marjorie, I get a funny feeling when you look at me,
Baby, I can’t see what’s going on.
I’m going to go back in time and make you mine
Marjorie, why do you make me feel so tingly,
You might be 83 but why doesn’t it seem wrong?

Because I don’t know why that every time I see you
And my body says yes even though my mind says no
I just can’t stop myself from calling out Bingo!
It’s always a pleasure to witness
All the echoes of your former fitness
And surely it’s about what’s underneath
So I can look past your grey hair and false teeth
Your artificial hip and your dodgy knee
And I can see the smokin’ hottie that you used to be

I bet back in the day you used to stop men in their tracks
But now they’re only stopping to carry some of your shopping
Girl, I want to give you a bit of a stroke
But I can’t in case I literally give you a stroke
And let me get it straight I’m not weird or crazy
I wouldn’t look twice at most old ladies
There’s something that they’re lacking
But it’s something that you’ve got
‘Cause you’re an old lady who used to be hot

Marjorie, your beauty peaked too soon
Back when you where in your prime my Mum was in the womb

Marjorie, I get a funny feeling when you look at me,
Baby, I can’t see what’s going on.
I’m going to go back in time and make you mine
Marjorie, why do you make me feel so tingly,
You might be 83 but why doesn’t it seem wrong?

Well Marjorie, I think we could have been the perfect couple,
But when you were my age I was minus 59 and it just never would have worked out
Still, how about next Wednesday, I come ‘round yours, we’ll play a bit of Bridge, maybe watch Columbo and we’ll take it from there.

credits

from Secret Handshake, released January 25, 2012
Vocals by Dan P (Rap), Rich Green (Chorus) and Charlie Mosesson (Bridge)
Guitar and piano by Rich Green
Bass, beats, scratches etc. by Dan P
Backing vocals by Emily Davis and Dan P
Beatboxing by the great Luke Ski

Written and produced by Dan P

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Flat 29 UK

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