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Spying (On A Woman From Waitrose)

from Secret Handshake by Flat 29

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about

Creepy Classic detailing one man's attempt to spy on the girl of his dreams in increasingly long winded and ineffective ways.

lyrics

Subject has been sighted at the Waitrose checkout buying some fresh rigatoni.
I wish I was toni.

I saw a beautiful girl in Waitrose,
Standing next to me in the queue,
She was buying a bag of mixed lettuce leaves,
And she smelled of sweet perfume.
She left behind her Waitrose loyalty card,
I thought it must be a sign,
So I followed her all the way back to her home,
I watched her get undressed until she closed the blind.

I’m gonna spy on you,
I’m gonna invade your privacy;
I’ll take a picture of you when you’re on the loo,
Put cameras in your room and watch you on TV.
And then I’ll raid your bins,
I’ll steal your identity,
Withdraw all your funds, have dinner with your mum,
‘Cause I’m lonely,
And I’m a bit of a freak

I spy on you on the bus,
I spy on you on the train,
I spy on you in the day, I spy on you in the night;
Sometimes I infringe on your human rights
By taking samples of your DNA
From discarded cigarettes and pizza trays,
I think I’ll build a clone
So I won’t be alone
And then I’ll spy on the clone at home all day.

I’m gonna spy on you,
I’m gonna invade your privacy;
I’ll do sketch of you, which i can spy on too,
‘Cause when you’re on A4 I only want you more.
And then I’ll colour you in,
And make some photocopies,
And then I'll hang them all
Upon my gallery wall,
‘Cause I'm arty,
And I’m also of spy

People say Rich, why oh why
Did you become a secret spy?
I said I watched a film that involved a spy
And ever since that day I’ve acted like a spy.
But spying has changed with the passage of time
A wannabe spy can just go online
And get their information with the click of the mouse,
While I’m doing a sketch outside your house

I’m gonna spy on you,
I’m gonna invade your privacy;
I’m gonna marry your son, so you will be my mum
And then I’ll spy on you when i come round for tea.
Then I’ll enchant your dad
With a whimsical story,
I’ll integrate myself into your family life
‘Cause I’m charming,
And I’m a bloody good spy

He's a bloody good spy
And he's a bloody great guy.
Why oh why is he such a bloody good spy?
Yeah, I’ll never share my secrets,
I’ll never share them with you,
Even if you want me to.

credits

from Secret Handshake, released January 25, 2012
Vocals by Rich Green
Guitar, bass, and drums by Rich Green

Written and produced by Rich Green, additional writing by Dan P and Charlie Mosesson

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