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Rap Guide to the Orchestra

from Secret Handshake by Flat 29

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about

A guide to the four sections of the modern symphony orchestra, delivered through the medium of rap. Educational AND slightly funky.

lyrics

The modern symphony orchestra is one of the great achievements of Western civilisation.
There are 4 main groups of instruments, in this large and still growing family.
First, The Strings:

Viola, double bass, cello or violin, you’ve got to choose one
If you want to get in to the string section.
And if you wanna go, the thing you’ve gotta know
Is you’ve gotta have a bow.
Constructed from the hair of a horse or a man,
Play it as you form notes with your left hand.
But if you’re in a show and you forget your bow,
Fuck it, just pluck it with pizzicato.

Everybody gather ‘round and you’ll soon see
That the orchestra is the place to be.
So grab a double bass and you’ll agree
That together we could write a symphony.

The second section of the orchestra; The Percussion.

If you want to learn an instrument you want to learn it quick,
How about you hit a circle with a big stick?
A Timpani is pretty simple, see?
And you can play the hi-hat if you wanna try that?
Tam-tam, Tom-tom, probably doesn’t take long,
If you get it wrong you can just hit the gong.
You might disagree, but that’s my angle,
And listen to how well I play the triangle.

Check me out! Getting down!
Yes, but I think it’s a bit more complicated than that.
Oh.

Everybody gather ‘round and you’ll soon see
That the orchestra is the place to be.
So kick a bass drum and you’ll agree
That together we could write a symphony.

The third section of the orchestra; The Synthesiser.

You can’t have an orchestra without a synth line,
That’s like eating fish without a glass of white wine.
The first time was Tchaikovsky,
He wrote The Nutcracker on an ARP.
Mozart had the Mini-Moog on every track,
He borrowed it for years ‘til Bach took it back.
Chopin’s Roland made him a star,
And Handel got a handle and he made a keytar!

Everybody gather ‘round and you’ll soon see
That the orchestra is the place to be.
So grab a Mini-Moog and you’ll agree
That together we could write a symphony.

The final section of the orchestra; the Nintendo GameBoy.

1989, Nintendo, Japan, while we were playing Tetris they began
To take classical music in a new direction,
Now every orchestra has an 8-bit section.
Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B,A,
We got the cheats for the beats that we play,
And enough batteries to last the whole day.
Let’s tune up our GameBoys and play.

Strings, Percussion, Synth, GameBoy, ready?
We’re gonna put it all together; 1,2,3

Everybody gather ‘round and you’ll soon see
That the orchestra is the place to be.
Grab Mario 2 and you’ll agree
That together we could write a symphony.

Everybody gather ‘round and you’ll soon see
That the orchestra is the place to be.
So come and join in and you’ll agree
That together we could write a symphony.

credits

from Secret Handshake, released January 25, 2012
Vocals by Dan P. Additional vocals by Charlie Mosesson (announcer) and Rich Green (Backing vocals)
Instrumentation and production by Dan P

Written and produced by Dan P

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Flat 29 UK

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