I Love You
I Like You
I Hate You
I Want You

Flat 29, it smells like shit
The bin's overflowing and the living room's a tip
Grease and mould and general scum
We needed a cleaner so we called Dan's mum
She's a criminal!
..when it comes to cleaning
Not even Mr Muscle got the surfaces gleaming
It was clean for about 2 days
But then we all got takeaways!

The hoover's shit, the cooker is a cunt
It annoys me as much as James Blunt
I cooked waffles on medium heat
They tasted really nice, but it took a fucking week
The TV only works when you're looking away
And the heating goes bezerk in the month of May
But I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be
'cos Flat 29 is the flat for me!

I think that I am scarred for life
'cos I live in Flat 29
I'm at serious risk
From all sorts of tropical diseases
I think that I am scarred for life
'cos I live in Flat 29
But I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be
'cos Flat 29 is the flat for me!

Flat 29, the furniture's wank
The water is irratic, we haven't got a tank
The light in the kitchen hasn't worked for ages
And the housing association involved haven't been at all helpful.
Its criminal!
We're living on the edge
We ignore the quota of 5 daily fruit and veg
The fridge temperature leaves a lot to be desired
And the guy who showed us round this flat should definitely be fired

When I first saw the flat it was a dream come true
But the building work is shoddy, they probably used glue
From a Pritt Stick, or maybe P.V.A.
The rate this place is going it'll fall down one day
And don't get me started on the washing facilities
I scowered the globe for enough 20ps!
But I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be
'cos Flat 29 is the flat for me!

I think that I am scarred for life
'cos I live in Flat 29
I'm at serious risk
From all sorts of tropical diseases
I think that I am scarred for life
'cos I live in Flat 29
But I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be
'cos Flat 29 is the flat for me!

Dear Flat 29,
It has been brought to my attention that your kitchen is in a deplorable state, and constitutes a health hazzard. If you fail to clean the kitchen we will have no option but to instruct industrial cleaners to enter the building and destroy you..
(But I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be
'cos Flat 29 is the flat for me!)
Should this service be required, you will all incur a charge. This charge will be deducted from your security deposit.
By the way, it is illegal to watch television in Flat 29.
Yours sincerely, Tupac Amaru Shakur
(But I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be
'cos Flat 29 is the flat for me!)

I think that I am scarred for life
'cos I live in Flat 29
I'm at serious risk
From all sorts of tropical diseases
I think that I am scarred for life
'cos I live in Flat 29
But I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be
'cos Flat 29 is the flat for me!

I think that I am scarred for life
'cos I live in Flat 29
I'm at serious risk
From all sorts of tropical diseases
I think that I am scarred for life
'cos I live in Flat 29
But I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be
'cos Flat 29 is the flat for me!