Factually Accurate Love Song
from Secret Handshake by Flat 29
-
CD (Enhanced)
Compact Disc (CD) + Digital AlbumThe glorious full CD copy of Secret Handshake comes beautifully packaged with exciting artwork, including a full 16 page booklet of containing illustrations for each track on the album. The enhanced CD itself comes with all of the music (obviously), plus pop it in your computer to get a full album commentary, bonus podcast, video extras, songbook, and more! And did we mention it's beautiful? An excellent addition to your collection, and a must have for music connoisseurs and cool dudes.
Includes unlimited streaming of Secret Handshake via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.Sold Out
-
-
Streaming + DownloadIncludes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.Purchasable with gift card
name your price
-
Buy the Full Digital Album
about
Pedantic Ballad chronicling a man's attempt to express his feelings to his beloved. He's no good with metaphor, but thats not what he met her for.
lyrics
Girl your eyes shine like the moon
Well like two moons specifically, positioned unnaturally close together, but without the
gravitational and tidal problems that would occur if this was not a simile.
And similarly your hair flows like a waterfall
Like a waterfall that’s made of hair, descending a cliff that looks just like your face.
She knows that I’m no good with metaphor, but that’s not what I met her for at all.
Girl your eyes are as deep as any ocean
E.g. the Atlantic, and I don’t want to be pedantic, but I can’t stop imagining the terrible problems that would occur if this was not a simile.
Similarly, your body’s like an hourglass
But that would be more accurate if you had been eating lots of sand.
She knows that I’m no good with metaphor, but that’s not what I met her for at all.
So I wish that I could write you poetry,
I wish that I could tell you you mean everything to me.
I’ve been trying for so long, but it always turns out wrong,
So I’ve made this not very poetic, but factually accurate song.
It’s an accurate song
It’s been proof-read, it’s an accurate song
Girl, you’re so intelligent, your mind is like a library
But without the oppressive noise restrictions or the complicated administrative procedures that would occur if your head was a library.
So liberally I’ll shower you in compliments
But cross-reference the facts for me to verify their accuracy.
She knows that I’m no good with metaphor, but that’s not what I met her for at all.
So I wish that I could write you poetry,
I wish that I could tell you you mean everything to me.
I’ve been trying for so long, but it always turns out wrong,
So I’ve made this not very poetic, but factually accurate song
I’ve taken views for and against
And peer-reviewed my evidence
And all that I can see is I was made for you
And you were made for me
Well like two moons specifically, positioned unnaturally close together, but without the
gravitational and tidal problems that would occur if this was not a simile.
And similarly your hair flows like a waterfall
Like a waterfall that’s made of hair, descending a cliff that looks just like your face.
She knows that I’m no good with metaphor, but that’s not what I met her for at all.
Girl your eyes are as deep as any ocean
E.g. the Atlantic, and I don’t want to be pedantic, but I can’t stop imagining the terrible problems that would occur if this was not a simile.
Similarly, your body’s like an hourglass
But that would be more accurate if you had been eating lots of sand.
She knows that I’m no good with metaphor, but that’s not what I met her for at all.
So I wish that I could write you poetry,
I wish that I could tell you you mean everything to me.
I’ve been trying for so long, but it always turns out wrong,
So I’ve made this not very poetic, but factually accurate song.
It’s an accurate song
It’s been proof-read, it’s an accurate song
Girl, you’re so intelligent, your mind is like a library
But without the oppressive noise restrictions or the complicated administrative procedures that would occur if your head was a library.
So liberally I’ll shower you in compliments
But cross-reference the facts for me to verify their accuracy.
She knows that I’m no good with metaphor, but that’s not what I met her for at all.
So I wish that I could write you poetry,
I wish that I could tell you you mean everything to me.
I’ve been trying for so long, but it always turns out wrong,
So I’ve made this not very poetic, but factually accurate song
I’ve taken views for and against
And peer-reviewed my evidence
And all that I can see is I was made for you
And you were made for me
credits
from Secret Handshake,
released January 25, 2012
Vocals by Dan P and Rich Green
Guitar, bass, drums, strings and keys by Rich Green
Written by Dan P, produced by Rich Green
Vocals by Dan P and Rich Green
Guitar, bass, drums, strings and keys by Rich Green
Written by Dan P, produced by Rich Green
license
tags
discography
-
Jan 2012 -
Dec 2011 -
Nov 2010 -
Jul 2008 -
Mar 2007 -
Jul 2006
contact / help
If you like Flat 29, you may also like:
-
supported by 6 fans who also own “Factually Accurate Love Song”
Awesome track! I also love the "tribute" at the end to that old D&D audio, genius! This is going to be the opener for the next session for my group.
go to album -
Chicken and Waffles
by TV's Kylesupported by 5 fans who also own “Factually Accurate Love Song”
Kyle has a gift for creating earworms—catchy tunes that you just cannot get out of your head until they've achieved their purpose. (Which is? That would be telling...) At the moment I'm particularly fond of "I Don't Know Why There's a Bug in Here," which I predict within five years will dominate campfires and school buses.
go to album -
Herp Derp Ya Don't Sterp
by Devo Spicesupported by 5 fans who also own “Factually Accurate Love Song”
This describes the American dream pretty well!
go to album -
Speakeasy - Live 2016
by John RobinsRobins decided to release the recording of his 2016 comedy tour during the Covid-19 shutdown at the behest of fans.
go to album -
Taylor Ham, Egg, And Cheese
by Chris GethardComedian Chris Gethard’s hilarious new surprise album is devoted to the great state of New Jersey, and the great state of New Jersey alone.
go to album -
In A Time Of Trouble A Wild Exultation
by Jaye BartellA stunning and sparse follow-up to last year's "Light Enough" from Brooklyn songwriter Jaye Bartell.
go to album -
4th Grade Talent Show
by the great Luke Skisupported by 5 fans who also own “Factually Accurate Love Song”
Technically my favorite track is "You Don't Know Jack (Plan B)", because it's just a great reimagining (Some Jerk with a Camera is now officially a reimagineer). But a lot of the album is good, and the "Luke Ski Phase 2" stuff is also good, but different.
go to album
