The glorious full CD copy of Secret Handshake comes beautifully packaged with exciting artwork, including a full 16 page booklet of containing illustrations for each track on the album. The enhanced CD itself comes with all of the music (obviously), plus pop it in your computer to get a full album commentary, bonus podcast, video extras, songbook, and more! And did we mention it's beautiful? An excellent addition to your collection, and a must have for music connoisseurs and cool dudes.
Includes unlimited streaming of Secret Handshake
via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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Streaming + Download
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
Here at Flat 29, we can't stop falling for amazing ladies with prohibitively demanding professional/social lives. We love ladies who struggle to fit us into their hectic schedules, and we have their PA's on speed-dial on the off chance we might be able to arrange a lunchtime meeting sometime next April.
In this song, Dan lusts after a dedicated pastry chef working at a local bakery, Charlie propositions a devoted lollypop lady, and Rich serenades a lady who takes her dutiful devotion to puzzle games to a whole new level.
lyrics
This one goes out to all the ladies working hard for a living,
All the ladies heavily involved in some kind of hobby or evening class,
We were wondering if you could fit us into your busy schedules?
‘Cause we love you dutiful ladies, this one’s for you.
I met my dream girl working at the bakery,
Whenever she was on the till I’d stop and buy a cake or three,
What did she make of me? I had to wait and see,
‘Cause this girl was committed to the art of serving cake and tea.
I wrote my number on a slice of flan,
And inquired whether she’d like to share a gingerbread man.
She said ‘I’d really love to but I gotta clean the grill,
And disinfect the surfaces and then cash up the till,
And you don’t want to be with a pastry chef,
The late nights at the patisserie while you’re at home missing me’.
With all of our duties, we’d never be suitable,
The love of my life was just much too dutiful.
And girl, you must be the most dutiful girl I’ve ever seen, it’s indisputable.
When we make love it’s beautiful, but you never stick around
‘Cause you’re just too dutiful
When I saw my dream girl, she stopped me in my tracks.
Her skill with a lollipop showed me she had the knack
Of keeping children safe from all the lorries and cars.
I said, ‘Do you want to take a ride with me?’, she said she had to guard.
I kept on and she went out with me,
We’d make love every day until a quarter past three.
When she’d lose her desire, throw our passions aside,
Put on her uniform, onto the crossing she’d stride.
Despite my best protests and my sexiest moves,
She stuck strongly to her duty to make safety improve.
I said ‘Can I join you? Might we save lives together?’
She just turned up her collar to protect her from the weather.
‘Cause this one goes out to all the girls,
Doing your duties all around the world,
And dutiful girls are so fine to us,
We were wondering if you could spend time with us.
My lady’s into crosswords and Sudoku-X,
She’s always doing word searches when we’re having sex.
I always try my very best, but it’s hard to please her,
The problem is she’s just a sucker for a brain teaser.
She’s so obsessed; she treats it like a career,
She wins £100 in book tokens every year.
I took her for a meal and she brought her Gran,
But they insisted on playing multiple games of Hangman,
And that’s when I knew things had to stop,
She was obsessed with puzzle-games, so I gave her the chop.
I must admit her intelligence was irrefutable,
The problem was the girl was just too dutiful.
With so many ladies and so many careers,
So many relationships have ended in tears,
‘Cause Dutiful Ladies never have the time,
To schedule in a little bit of Flat 29.
Damn Girl! You’re looking Dutiful tonight.
How ‘bout me and you go grab dinner?
Nope? Well, Thursday? Oh, you’re working late Thursday.
Errr… how about a week Monday? Pottery class?
Umm, well, what you doing in late July?
That sounds important, could you pencil me in toward the beginning of next year?
How ‘bout I call your P.A?….
credits
from Secret Handshake,
released January 25, 2012
Vocals by Dan P (Verse 1 and choruses), Charlie Mosesson (Verse 2) and Rich Green (Verse 3)
Intro and outro vocals by Chris Mezzolesta of Power Salad
Instrumentation and production by Dan P
Awesome track! I also love the "tribute" at the end to that old D&D audio, genius!
This is going to be the opener for the next session for my group. Landstrider
Kyle has a gift for creating earworms—catchy tunes that you just cannot get out of your head until they've achieved their purpose. (Which is? That would be telling...) At the moment I'm particularly fond of "I Don't Know Why There's a Bug in Here," which I predict within five years will dominate campfires and school buses. Brother Osric
Robins decided to release the recording of his 2016 comedy tour during the Covid-19 shutdown at the behest of fans. Bandcamp New & Notable May 29, 2020
Comedian Chris Gethard’s hilarious new surprise album is devoted to the great state of New Jersey, and the great state of New Jersey alone. Bandcamp New & Notable Dec 18, 2019
Technically my favorite track is "You Don't Know Jack (Plan B)", because it's just a great reimagining (Some Jerk with a Camera is now officially a reimagineer).
But a lot of the album is good, and the "Luke Ski Phase 2" stuff is also good, but different. Erin A Cobb