The glorious full CD copy of Secret Handshake comes beautifully packaged with exciting artwork, including a full 16 page booklet of containing illustrations for each track on the album. The enhanced CD itself comes with all of the music (obviously), plus pop it in your computer to get a full album commentary, bonus podcast, video extras, songbook, and more! And did we mention it's beautiful? An excellent addition to your collection, and a must have for music connoisseurs and cool dudes.
Includes unlimited streaming of Secret Handshake
via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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Streaming + Download
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
Since the grand opening of the first ever B&Q superstore, home improvement and sex have gone hand in slightly oily hand. Dangerous power tools and exposed genitals are a match made in heaven, and this song celebrates this sexy, sexy union through the medium of mid-90s RnB.
lyrics
Rich Green
And Me the Rapper
24th January 1995
Check the Calendar, what’s the weather out there
It’s quite cold outside but it’s warm here in the studio.
It’s pretty warm.
I first saw you when you were in B&Q
(Alright Rich, then what did you do?)
You were buying some Rawl plugs and some picture hooks too.
(Picture hooks! Getting steamy)
I only went to get a Black & Decker drill,
(Power tools kinda look like a penis)
I didn’t expect to get such a thrill.
(He got a thrill, Man, he only came here for a drill)
Girl, your hair is like a Dulux paint colour chart,
Yeah, you are the spirit level to my shelf at perfect right-angles.
Searching for hotties down at B&Q and that’s where I met you,
I said why you over there doing DIY? You should be over here doing Me IY
I talked to you and asked you out on a date,
(Picking up a hottie with a Black & Decker workmate)
You said ‘pick me up at my workshop at quarter to 8’.
(And don’t be late)
When I arrived, you were wearing nothing but your tool belt,
(Girl be looking sexy, and very practical)
And we made love on the cement mixer and I felt things I’d never felt
Girl, your hair is like a Dulux paint colour chart,
Yeah, you are the spirit level to my shelf at perfect right-angles.
Hey Girl, how’s it going?
Can you lend me a hand? ‘Cause my pipes need plumbing (if you know what I mean?).
Do you mean your penis?
No actually, it’s just my guttering. It’s a mess up there.
But if you lend me a hand, then maybe later,
We can have a little fun, because we got a lot done
But just remember the Number 1 rule; a good workman never blames his tools
I keep them tidy, I keep them clean,
Girl, I’m a well oiled machine!
This time do you mean your penis?
Yes, this time I do
Girl, your hair is like a Dulux paint colour chart,
Yeah, you are the spirit level to my shelf at perfect right-angles.
Hey girl, let’s screw
I’m gonna nail you.
Can you feel my tape measure?
Because it’s getting longer and longer.
Yes my spanner is fully adjustable,
And you can have a go on my power tool.
Ooh, I’m gonna put up a shelf,
Because DIY means do it yourself.
credits
from Secret Handshake,
released January 25, 2012
Vocals by Rich Green (Singer) and Dan P (Rapper)
Additional vocals by Sara Davis
Guitar, keys, bass and drums by Rich Green
Power tools, horns and strings by Dan P
Written by Rich Green, additional writing by Dan P and Charlie Mosesson
supported by 6 fans who also own “DIY Lovin' (Put Up A Shelf)”
Awesome track! I also love the "tribute" at the end to that old D&D audio, genius!
This is going to be the opener for the next session for my group. Landstrider
supported by 5 fans who also own “DIY Lovin' (Put Up A Shelf)”
Kyle has a gift for creating earworms—catchy tunes that you just cannot get out of your head until they've achieved their purpose. (Which is? That would be telling...) At the moment I'm particularly fond of "I Don't Know Why There's a Bug in Here," which I predict within five years will dominate campfires and school buses. Brother Osric
Robins decided to release the recording of his 2016 comedy tour during the Covid-19 shutdown at the behest of fans. Bandcamp New & Notable May 29, 2020
Comedian Chris Gethard’s hilarious new surprise album is devoted to the great state of New Jersey, and the great state of New Jersey alone. Bandcamp New & Notable Dec 18, 2019
supported by 5 fans who also own “DIY Lovin' (Put Up A Shelf)”
Technically my favorite track is "You Don't Know Jack (Plan B)", because it's just a great reimagining (Some Jerk with a Camera is now officially a reimagineer).
But a lot of the album is good, and the "Luke Ski Phase 2" stuff is also good, but different. Erin A Cobb